Happy Birthday Mother

Helen Elaine Kern Markwart
July 31, 1921 - May 6, 1999.

Shortly after mother died I was fortunate to be able to join a mother/daughter grief group. This was a wonderful experience where adult daughters shared the sadness and loss due to the death of our mothers. Each of us brought a unique experience to the group. I was and am grateful for the experience.

During the group I often doodled in my journal while listening to the others share their thoughts and feelings. In spite of the sometimes strained relationship I had with her I was able to think of many things for which I am thankful that I had the mother I had.



During the early days of my grieving, I spent time making a lamp shade with old buttons that she had. Doesn't every mother have a collection of old buttons? Touching all those buttons, many I remember from my childhood, was a healing experience. Sewing each one, one at a time, onto the shade was meditative as well. Later I found the perfect lamp base and the whole thing is magnificent. After I die, I wonder who will want mother's beautiful lamp.

Father's Day 2008

This morning Stephen asked me to describe my happiest memory of my father (1915-2001).
We were driving across the Bay Bridge on our way to Grace Cathedral for the 11:00 Liturgy.
On our way there we always pass by Tadich Grill on California St. I imagined it being 1938 and Dad having lunch there.
A block from the Cathedral is the Mark Hopkins Hotel. I imagined Dad there with his friends for an evening at the Top of the Mark.

Fast forward circa 1958 - I said that for me my happiest memory was sitting on the arm of the big black chair watching him work a crossword puzzle and listen with him to the Lucky Lager Dance Time radio program. I sat on the arm or sometimes at his feet, while wafts of smoke would drift from his lit cigarette and envelope me in a haze of who he was and what he enjoyed. I remember it as though it were yesterday and to this day I too love crosswords and the music of the 30's, 40's and 50's. Thanks Dad.

Happy Father's Day Dad I thought of you today. I love you.